That is how long I have been in Reno.
Can I go back to Las Vegas, please?
I have no idea what's wrong with me.
The past 12 hours have been rather uneventful. I was picked up at the airport, went to lunch at Olive Garden, went to the dorms, went to work, went back to the dorms, ate Jimmy John's for dinner and have been unpacking for the past hour.
I need to get back into the swing of things. It kind of kicked in when I sat there organizing my desk - mostly because my brand new computer at work doesn't have Internet - and I was chatting with everyone that I haven't seen in five weeks. It's great to see everyone. I didn't even mind editing.
I just don't want to be here.
I would give anything to be at home, in the bedroom I grew up, lying in bed, awake and reading some book, and then going to bed at some ungodly hour only to be woken up by my daddy for breakfast/lunch the next morning (this just summed up five weeks of my life).
I hate this growing up thing right now.
Oh well. I'll be over it soon enough.
Also, sidenote: I'm totally fucked for my first class of the semester on Tuesday, mainly because it's at 9:30 a.m. Ugh.
That is how long I have been in Reno.
So I'm sitting on my bed, tired from only getting three hours of sleep last night and waiting for my laundry to finish so I can leave for the airport.
And for the first time in a very long time, I don't want to leave Las Vegas.
You have to understand this - I am not a fan of my hometown. I do not want to live in my hometown when I am older. I spent a majority of my youth trying to get out of my hometown.
But the last five weeks have been nice. It's not because I don't pay for bills while I'm here. It's not because my car and I were reunited for a short period of time - though that helps. It's not even because my parents have given me much more leeway than they ever would have two years ago.
No, it's because when I'm here, I'm comfortable. I don't have to worry. I don't have to stress. My family is here. Some of my best friends are here. I know how to find my way around, even as new buildings pop up on every street corner.
I'm home. And I always forget how much I
like love that.
I know I'll be back in a couple of weeks, and then in March, and then again in May.
But I'll still miss it.
Each time I leave this city, I appreciate it a little more.
Ranting by Jessica at 10:05 AM
To become better at what I do.
Made lots of mistakes last semester.
Am going to attempt to fix everything I did wrong (have not made formal list yet, but there were lots of them).
Am going to make more mistakes, because no one's perfect. Am going to try to fix those too.
Will keep learning and trying.
Will figure this out, damn it.
Will pass all classes.
Also: schedule change, got into the J204 class at 2:30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Ranting by Jessica at 12:53 AM
It is once again 3 a.m., and I was thinking about journalism. No, not the Sagebrush or internships or the future or classes.
Just journalism. What it means. Why it exists. What my role as a journalist really is.
I haven't thought about it in those terms in quite a while. Since last summer, actually. For the past four months, it's always about getting the job done and attempting to make deadline...so much so that a person can forget why they're doing it in the first place.
It's not about a byline. It's not about a clip. It's not about winning awards. It's not about advancement in this crazy field.
It's about telling the story. It's about learning how to best tell a story so not only does the reader understand it, but feels some sort of emotion because of it. The stories we write, the photographs we take, the designs we layout...they all mean something to someone out there. It's more than just a job.
It's a calling.
I think people forget that. They get lost and preoccupied. I think that when they do, it's what makes them cynical about it all. In a Time article, it said that about 50 percent of journalists are satisfied with their jobs. I wonder what is going on with the other 50.
So, the point of this post was...don't forget why you do it. Don't forget why it's important.
And maybe I'm too optimistic. But for now, I'd prefer it to stay that way.
Sidenote: I'm in a Dawson's Creek kind of mood right now, and so am attempting to find the final 10 minutes of the show on YouTube. It doesn't exist.
Ranting by Jessica at 3:04 AM
I could easily graduate in that much time (total, not four years from today).
I just spent the last hour with a course catalog, my DARS report and a Word document, figuring out what classes I would have to take each semester if I want to graduate in 2010.
I could also do it without excruciating torture.
The question is...do I want to do that?
Part of me says yes, I want to finish up in four years and then move on. But another part reasons that college only lasts for so long, so I should enjoy it while I can.
I still want to study abroad, and see all these places that I might not get to see at any other time in my life.
I still want to develop my skills as a journalist, and continue working for a college newspaper, where the media groups don't control the content just yet.
I want so many things...and the only thing holding me back is myself. I admit it.
It's about priorities...what's important to me and what standards I hold myself to.
I don't have an answer just yet. I don't know when I will.
Ranting by Jessica at 11:28 PM
And very much out of the price range for a girl who's going to be working in the journalism field, most likely in newspapers.
I was reading this story from Forbes, listing the top 10 most expensive places for renters. They are:
1) New York ($2,922 median price)
2) San Francisco ($1,904)
3) Boston ($1,658)
4) San Jose ($1,612)
5) L.A. ($1,452)
6) San Diego ($1,304)
7) Washington ($1,302)
8) Miami ($1,080)
9) Philadelphia ($1,014)
10) Chicago ($1,010)
And the prices will keep going up.
I am under no delusion that I am going to end up in any of these places right out of college. But still, even if I do get there someday, there's still the question...why does living have to be so expensive?
Maybe I'll just go the "marry rich" route. Or sell (what's left of) my soul and go into advertising.
Ranting by Jessica at 6:37 PM
What next semester will look like:
Sunday: News meeting at 6 p.m.
Monday: History at 11 a.m., Economics at 4 p.m., production any time I'm not in class.
Tuesday: Geography at 9:30 a.m., Theater at 1 p.m., Journalism at 5:30 p.m., staff meeting sometime that night
Wednesday: Same as Monday, minus production, plus senate.
Thursday: Same as Tuesday, minus staff meeting, plus rough draft deadline
Friday: History at 11 a.m., editorial board that afternoon, Dance at 5p.m., final draft deadline
Saturdays are open.
The goal is to not get burned out this semester. I think I'll manage...
I have mixed feelings about not doing choir next semester, but I think it's the best choice for now. I'm still signed on for theater and dance (ballroom, to be precise), so the LVA part of me is still going strong.
We'll see how this semester goes. Here's to hoping it's not too excruciating, and better than the last.
Ranting by Jessica at 4:52 PM
So, I was reading through a blog that I started four and a half years ago.
I finally know why I like surveys so much. They gave me something to do in the boring summer after my freshman year of high school.
Not much has changed when it comes to that quirk about me. Besides the fact that I do them at nearly 4 a.m. Damn insomnia.
Anyway, a "girly" survey:
1. You're a girl, right?
That's what I've been told my entire life.
2. Have you kissed any one on your top list?
This was a MySpace survey, can you tell?
4. Do you enjoy drama?
In the movie variety.
5. Are you a girly girl?
Most of the time.
6. Who was the last person you hugged?
My brother. Most likely against his will.
7. Small or large purses?
Large. They carry more.
8. Are you short?
Supposedly I'm the average height of the American women.
9. Do you like someone?
Hmmm. Yes, I do.
10. What would you do if someone smacked your butt?
Let out a screech and turn around and look at them. Depending on who it was, I would glare.
11. Do you care if your socks are dirty?
I would, but I don't wear socks often enough to care.
12. Do you think you’re conceited?
13. Do you dress up on Halloween?
Nope. I got boring.
14. Are you double jointed?
15. Where is the weirdest place you have slept??
Underneath a table, next to a bunch of wires, in the backroom of a classroom in a 50-year-old building. I was tired.
16. Has anyone touched/smacked your butt in the past 24 hours?
17. Is there any type of rumor going around about you?
Not that I'm aware of. I don't think I'm that interesting of a person for people to gossip about me.
18. Do you call anybody by their last name?
Yeah, it's a habit I developed at work.
19. How many guys will read this??
I don't know. However many read my blog (which, as far as I know, is currently 0)
[x] I have to wear make up.
[x] I have cried at a movie theater.
[x] I can't put mascara on without opening my mouth.
[x] I get jealous.
[x] think Johnny Depp is sexy.
[x] I love to laugh.
[x] I carry a purse.
[x] I’d be lost without my computer.
 I own a Spice Girls CD.
[x] I own a Britney Spears CD.
[x] I own a boy band CD.
 I get bored watching football.
 I’ve never been called a spoiled brat
[x] Guys are confusing
 I’ve been called a bad influence.
[x] My friends are the best.
 I have piercings other than my ears.
1. What color is the bra you're wearing?
I'm not wearing one. It's nearly 4 a.m.
2. Do you prefer light or dark haired guys?
Usually go dark.
3. Are you currently frustrated with a boy?
4. Do you have a best friend?
That I do.
5. Have you ever had your heart broken??
No, just bruised.
7. Do you like your life?
For the most part. I think about it this way - at least I wasn't born in Egypt.
For further reference for that, google "New York Times" and "female circumcision."
8. Has one of your friends ever stolen a boyfriend from you?
No, but I have had friends who dated the guy after it was over. And not tell me.
9. Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on?
Jumped, no. Been pushed in, yes.
10. Do you have more friends that are girls or boys?
11. How long have you had myspace?
2004, before everyone and their mother (literally) had one.
12. Have you ever slapped a boy in the face?
Yes. I can't remember why anymore, but I don't think he spoke to me for a while after that one.
13. What are your biggest fears?
Deep water and utter failure.
14. Have you cried yourself to sleep?
15. Have you ever not been able to get someone off your mind?
16. Have you ever had a good feeling about something?
Yeah. Now, if the good feeling is actually right or not in the end is another story.
17. Do you ever wish you were famous?
No. I like not being scrutinized, thanks.
18. Are you currently missing someone?
THIS GUY OR THAT GUY?
Cowboy or Gangster?
Cowboys. What can I say, I'm a fan of the hat.
Preppy or Punk?
Preppy. I'm also a fan of khaki pants.
Face or Body?
Face. I like to be able to look someone in the eye.
Sweet or Sexy?
Sweet. Of course, I love sexy too, but sweet wins me over in the end.
Well-educated or Dropout?
Educated. I don't think I'd be able to relate to someone who was a dropout.
Armani or Abercrombie?
Armani. Though Abercrombie models are nice to look at.
City-slicker or Rural Guy?
Contact or glasses?
I think most men that wear their glasses are hot.
01. Eyeliner or Mascara
02 louis v. or dooney & bourke?
D&B does more variety.
03. American eagle or Hollister?
04. heels or flats?
Depends on the day, what I'm wearing and how my feet are feeling.
05. Skirts or pants?
Depends on the day and the situation
06. Socks or leggings?
07. Hoodies or jackets?
Depends on the weather.
08. Heels or sneakers?
09. Straight or curly hair?
10. Hoop or dangling earrings?
11. White or black?
12. Victoria’s secret or bath and body works?
Bath and Body Works...though I'd rather not pick.
13. Smoothies or lattes?.
14. Diet or regular sodas?
15. Water or daiquiris?
Strawberry daiquiris, to be precise.
16. Pearls or diamonds?
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
17. Vintage or boho?
I'm more of a vintage girl.
18. Mary-Kate or Ashley Olsen?
There's a difference? Who knew?
19. Lindsay or Hilary?
I admit, I'm a Hilary person.
21. Friends or family?
Can't pick one over the other with this.
22. Lip gloss or lip stick?
23. Manicure or pedicures?
24. Tank tops or beaters?
25. Tiffany’s or Chanel?
Hmm. I've never been to Tiffany's...
26. love or peace?
Both? (Yes, the question mark is there on purpose)
27. Sunglassess or purses?
Purses, I break sunglasses all the time anyway
IN A GUY:
28. Funny or Serious?
Funny most of the time, knows how to be serious
29. Romantic or Daredevil?
30.Cute or Hot?
31. Dark Eyes or bright & dreamy Eyes?
Why can't dark eyes be "dreamy"? The person who wrote this was biased.
Either or, it doesn't really matter.
32. Long Hair or Short Hair?
34. Clean-cut or Rough?
35. Good Dancer or Good Singer?
Singer. Especially if he happens to be a bass.
36. Basketball Player or Football Player?
37. Jock or Rebel?
Um. Don't care.
38. Smoker or Non-smoker?
Also don't care.
39. Drunk or Sober?
Just as long as he's not an alcoholic, I'm good.
40. Druggie or Clean?
41. Has a Motorcycle or Has a Sports Car?
42. Beard/Mustache or Clean-shaven?
I'm a fan of the goatee, myself.
43. Younger or Older
Older, I'm not a cradle robber.
44. Player or Loyal?
What kind of girl would say player?
Also, as a sidenote, I ran into the reporter I had a crush on over the summer. Still nice, dreamy, working for the same newspaper and planning on getting out of Vegas as soon as he can.
And as a final sidenote, I find that I prefer the Coffee Bean to Starbucks. Shocking, I know, to hear the Starbucks junkie say that. Too bad there isn't a CB in Reno that I know of.
Ranting by Jessica at 1:23 AM
I missed this blog.
I thought about starting another one, and then decided that that was silly, so I'm back.
It's a new year. I got caught up and burnt out last semester, but here's to hoping that I'll actually update over the next one. I was rather good at it over the summer, right?
So we'll start off with the yearly list of resolutions:
- Learn how to properly build a Web site
- Develop a daily news routine so I stay up-to-date on all of my current events
- Earn a minimum 3.0 in my classes from now on
- Get a healthier lifestyle. Am still trying to figure out how that would work
- Take Saturdays off unless I have no other choice
- Take chances and make mistakes
- Don’t be afraid of where life takes me
- Don’t let work take over my life/have a social life
- Let everyone I love know that I love them (inspired my a dream I had the other night that I died, and didn’t have a chance to do this)
- Ask for help when I need it and stop being so damn stubborn
- Attempt to be more organized. Be more organized. Be more organized.
- Live to see the next New Year’s
- Don’t go to jail
The last two were inspired by Mr. Jim Akins, who I will probably think about each New Year's until the day I die, because I still remember the lecture he gave on those.
Also, list of books to read:
- I Am America (And So Can You!), Stephen Colbert
- Catch-22, Joseph Heller
- The Best American Political Writing 2006
- The Devil Wears Prada, Lauren Weisberger
- Imperial Life in the Emerald City, Rajiv Chandrasekaran
- The Elements of Journalism, Bill Kovach and Tom Rosentiel
- Championship Writing, Paula LaRoque
- The Historian, Elizabeth Kostova
- This Side of Paradise, F. Scott Fitzgerald
- The God Delusion, Richard Dawkins
In other news, I've turned into an insomniac. The good part of that is because I'm home, I can sleep until whenever because no one will bother me and I don't have any pressing responsibilities to attend to. The bad part is I'm so screwed when school starts again.
What else, what else....I've spent every day of my winter break with my father, who hasn't been able to go to work on account of being sick for the past month. Nice bonding time. We watch CSI: Miami and shows about fixing your home up. He doesn't ask about school or the future like he used to, and I think it's because he's satisfied with where I am right now.
Speaking of the future, I redid my life plan again the other night. It currently includes graduating in five years, studying abroad in London and working at lots of newspapers.
I've also officially changed my minor from music to history. I love music, but when it comes down to it, I like doing it for fun. So goodbye voice lessons and sight singing and (probably) choir. But don't worry, I'll still audition for American Idol/Broadway just because anyway.
Now I'm just rambling, because I'm not tired but I've got nothing left to say. I'm going to go back to reading. Y'know, I missed this reading this. It's nice.
Ranting by Jessica at 2:23 AM