I feel better about the world. Less bitter.
I think it has to do with the fact that one, the Starbucks on campus opened, and two, because I was in Las Vegas for a few days, it felt like I actually got some rest. I slept for seven hours last night, showered this morning and am currently drinking my caramel macchiato.
Yeah, I'm content. A slight break was all I really needed.
I feel better about the world. Less bitter.
Maybe being in Las Vegas is what inspires me to post on this blog, because that seems to be all I really feel like doing lately.
All I can really think about is how I used to think one story a week was tough, because in high school, two stories a month was "a lot of work."
And so now, I am laughing at my former self.
I need to get some sleep. There'll be a caramel macchiato with my name on it in good ol' F20 tomorrow morning.
Ranting by Jessica at 12:36 AM
So I'm home in Las Vegas to cover the Board of Regents meeting, and I've been home for about four hours.
And after sitting around and talking with my dad for a while, I realized (like usual) that my dad is amazing, and that I am very lucky to have him for a father.
I need someone like my dad for a billion different reasons. And because lists seem to be my thing lately, here are a few:
- I am like my mother, and only someone with my dad's temperament could possibly handle being married to me.
- My dad is a great listener.
- He is also very forthcoming with problems. He doesn't hide what's wrong.
- He tells stories.
- He likes a good romantic comedy.
- He's a complete family guy (der).
- And while he's not necessarily a romantic, my mom's gotten roses for Christmas, Valentine's, her birthday and Mother's Day for years.
- My dad used to be the typical guy. My dad was the frat boy who partied all the time. He shows that men can change and mature. They really can. He also tells me that all men are assholes, even the nice ones, no matter what I think.
So in short, I love my dad. I hope that I'll find someone like him.
Ranting by Jessica at 12:15 AM
Mine is dead at the moment.
And I have no idea why. It just fell apart. Literally. The button popped out, the screen is barely attached...
I hate flip phones, because they have nothing but a pain in the ass since I've turned 16.
This is the timeline of my life in cell phone years:
2002 - Get a cell for the first time. One of those really fat Nokias where you interchange the cover. This phone lasts me until I'm 16.
August 2004 - Finally get a new phone when I switch providers from AT&T to Sprint.
April 2005 - This phone dies because I drop it in the ocean. Yes, I dropped my cell phone in the Atlantic Ocean.
November 2005 - The phone falls out of my pocket while I'm dancing, and the screen cracks, but the phone still works. I use this phone until Christmas, and call a variety of the wrong people because I can't see who I'm calling.
January 2006 - New phone. Because the previous model was discontinued, I get the latest version.
August 2006 - Another new phone because my contract with Sprint ended, and I switched to T-Mobile because of the free long distance.
May 2007 - Because the phone started to slowly die over the second semester of my freshman year, I went home and got yet another cell phone - the phone that decided to die this morning.
I have the absolute worst luck when it comes to phones.
And sadly, I depend on my phones so much that despite the crappiness of the situation, I need to get a new one as soon as possible.
It's one of those days where I completely hate technology.
Ranting by Jessica at 12:35 PM
These are the details of my life right now:
- I do not sleep enough.
- I live at the Sagebrush office and spend more time there than I do in the room that I pay to live in or with people used to see me on a regular basis.
- I have yet to write the essay that will decide whether I become a journalism major or not.
- Only God knows why I am not on the mandatory list for attending my J203 lectures.
- I am slowly losing bits of my soul as this year goes on and I become more bitter.
- I think more about newspapers than I do about most of the other aspects of my life.
- I am going to Italy next summer to have a break from journalism and to make sure that this is REALLY what I want to do with my life. I'm pretty sure it is, but I think I need a three-month break from it to make sure.
- I am probably not going to graduate in four years.
- I am not happy.
- I am horrible at parking cars.
- I still need to do laundry.
- I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but at the same time, I do.
- I am officially a workaholic, and yet my shit still doesn't get done on time.
- I skipped going to the homecoming game for no good reason.
- I drink too much coffee.
- I untagged all the photos of myself on Facebook from a certain party.
- I regret my last kiss, mostly because it was definitely not worth it.
- I need to buy my dad a birthday present.
- I need to get out more.
- I need to figure out how to make things better.
- I need to stop making excuses.
- And most importantly, I need to stop sucking. Pronto.
I'm just going to go to bed. I'm going to go to bed, and hopefully, not dream about newspapers.
Ranting by Jessica at 2:32 AM
After reading Annie's blog, I've decided that maybe I'll take up blogging again. I miss blogging and bitching about stuff on the Internet for others to read. I also doubt anyone checks this, so I should be all right.
I won't change the title of the blog, though I suppose I need to redo the header to take out the "summer intern" thing.
So, an update on my life - I am not satisfied with anything at all.
There are good moments here and there, but as a general rule, happiness seems to elude me. It isn't really one thing to blame as much as a whole culmination of my life at this point. I love work and the people there, but at the same time, I could be doing a lot better. Yeah yeah, it's part of the learning process, but I just see all these little things that can be done better. So I'm working on it.
Work has also diminished what little social life I had. I'm working on that too. Much as I love the people I work with, I like seeing people I don't work with too. You know, the people I got to know when I was in high school and the people I met last year. Them. They're nice too.
And on the topic of people, what's dating? I have no idea. I was reminded of what kissing was the other night, but then remembered that it's much more enjoyable when I actually like the person on a deeper level than inebriation. Ahem.
Then there's those things called classes. The bane of my existence, which is ridiculous, because one, I'm a student, and two, I actually like school. Not homework, of course, but learning. I like reading and writing and all that stuff. And now, I barely make it to my classes, and have come to the conclusion that I don't really like my minor. I love music and singing, but choir and voice lessons and sightsinging are killing me because I can't devote the proper time to them. And the one class I really, really, really want to take from the department - History of American Musical Theater - is on Monday nights. Go figure.
So there isn't really a conclusion to all this. That was just a bunch of jumbled thoughts thrown together. I've decided that in order to really figure out why I'm so blah, I need to go somewhere, away from everyone I know, for like 24 hours, and just figure out what I want out of my life, and what I don't want in it. I just really need to think. Things are moving at such a fast pace that I haven't had time to do that since I don't know when.
Maybe I'll have some time after the Board of Regents next week to drive somewhere in Vegas (since I'll actually have my car) and do this.
Until then, I'll just keep on keeping on. Bah, how cliche is that?
Ranting by Jessica at 3:14 AM